We have an in-class essay coming up very soon. Because it is an assessment that all of the classes are doing at the same time we cannot change the date. We have not done enough in preparation, but if you follow my instructions below you will be fine.
Read more…
Essay writing
Fixing a paragraph
Here is a sample student paragraph from the recent comparative literary essay and then a couple of points to note below it.
Physical description can also tell the reader about a character’s behavior. In The Metaphor, Miss Hancock waited for her students to write their metaphors with her ‘frilled eyes shining’. This shows that Miss Hancock is enthusiastic and passionate about teaching and the subject she is teaching. In Everyday Use Maggie has a ‘kind of dopey, hangdog look’ on her face when she tells Dee/Wangero that she can take Grandma Dee’s quilts, even if she isn’t going to stand up for herself, even when her sister is taking away the quilts that are valuable to her. With physical description, the reader can predict a character’s actions.
This is an okay piece of writing but it could be much better. Problems include:
- The explanation and evidence does not match the topic sentence. The evidence shows the characters personality traits rather than their behavior.
- ‘… she can take Grandma Dee’s quilts, even though she isn’t going to stand up for herself…’ doesn’t quite make perfect sense.
- The point isn’t a strong one. Physical description is often about a character’s behavior anyway.
- The expression is wordy and clumsy. Let’s re-write it:
Physical description can alert the reader to a character’s singular traits. Miss Hancock’s “frilled eyes shining” speak of a passion for teaching and language. Maggie’s “kind of dopey, hangdog look” demonstrates a lack of inner strength as Dee/Wangero attempts to take away the family heritage.
That’s it. Naturally, a paragraph in a literary essay needs to be more detailed and insightful than what I have written; all I have done is re-write the above paragraph. Notice how the word ‘show’ has been replaced by ‘alert’, ‘speak of’ and ‘demonstrates’. Also, phrases such as ‘This shows that…’ have disappeared – they are almost always unnecessary.
An important point about this essay – the topic was very weak.
For more hints about essay writing language, see the resources section of the blog, your teacher, books in the library, resources on the web, your notes.
There are some things that you should always do when writing. See below.
The Writing Process
Drafting and Editing
Essay Template
See below for a list of useful files and links for any grade level in English.
essay writing advice1
essay writing advice2
essay writing advice3
One of the most important tools in learning anything is the question. The root word is ‘quest’ – that something is being searched for, in this case, understanding or knowledge. Asking questions is, I think, just about the best way to learn. Just ask Socrates.
But…
There are different types of questions for different levels of understanding.
Read this
Any questions?
4 level questions and PEE
questions to ask of a text
Peter Curry